Quote:
Originally Posted by amandalouise
I see that your location is Bulgaria. what Im posting may be different for your location .
here in the USA here in the USA a person must have more than one alter so the alter that is now gone will not be part of the diagnosing process if you were here in the USA. my point you no longer have to worry about that alter because they are gone.
I am surprised that the alter told others about your system im sorry that happened to you, my system was built on keeping secrets, do not tell or threat of harm (something my abusers told me which in part made it so that none of my alters would tell and if I tried my alters would become suicidal or self injuring)
Im a bit confused because in my location the term core is used to define who the body born person is. do you mean none of you are the body born person or do you mean none of you take responsibility for being the one mostly in control?
Im also confused because you stated you lost 7 years but then state time loss has never been an issue. do you mean that you used to remember those 7 years and now that memory is gone, now that the alter is gone?
Here in the USA this memory problem would not be part of having DID. here what happens when an alter is gone everything that was the alter that is gone becomes part of the others, nothing is lost, everything is gained with healing.
I also read your other posts and Im a bit confused. in this one you say there is only 3 (the body born and two on the side?) but in another post you list 6, did three recently integrate? My alters are all integrated. if these three integrated it may seem a bit strange and confusing so wanted you to know that you are not alone.
please dont take my post as a diagnosis. only your treatment providers can say whether you have a mental disorder or not.
what I can say is that everything you posted can be any number of normal, mental or physical health problems, which is why Im glad that you posted that you will be talking with your psychologist.
in the mean time just continue to go according to what ever your psychologist says is going on with you already. they are the ones that can help you the most. i can understand how reading online can cause a person to compare their system to others, but here in the USA we have a saying...everyones system is comprised how ever they needed it to be in order for their body and system to survive..
my point dont worry if your system is different than what you are reading. there are many different normal, mental and physical health issues that are comprised of many different types of alters.
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We (the three hosts) made a promise to never hide anything but the things that might hurt one of us, or the littles, so something that might be triggering for me, or someone else, will be hidden. Everything else is an open book. That exact altar was horrible in pretty much everything. His point of existence was to hurt us, that's why we, mainly Evee, tried to block him out or at least put him back, which works from time to time.
The core, is indeed used as the original one that was born with the body. She is long gone because of that altar that we are trying to remove.
By missing 7 years I meant that during that time it was either the core going on with her life (and me only remembering the things that I did) and not knowing about us and then disappearing with all of the childhood memories, or when we were too busy dealing with getting the system right. So that includes, setting up roles, fighting the ones who did not want to obey, and getting to know each other. Ever since then we can recall some memories from the past but also the last 2 years in which we live as a well managed system.
I guess what I wanted to say was that there are three of us who are the hosts and that go out in public and socialize. The other 3 are Evee, who is our manager and rarely goes out because she is a little and she is a bit shy. Then there is Annie that is as well a little and she is too scared to go out because someone might say something to her. And Carolinae, that is a fragment and has the job of keeping Scar safe and loved as in romantic love so she doesn't go out except in our home or when we are alone. So it is mainly me, Waidth and Scar who experience the most of life in first person, if I can say.
Thank you so very much. I should stop thinking what other people are telling me to. It's just hard when every "friend" that I have thinks that I'm faking it, while in reality I know me the best. And me is 6 different people
. Thank you once again.