I just wanted to give everyone a big hug and a kudos for your self-realization...

It's worth not much, but my own parental perspective: My children would always come first (please note that I mean children and not adult "children").

I cannot imagine very much that would be more difficult than dating a parent. I know it happens and happens with success, but as someone with depression (and probably more although I don't really care at this point) I cannot imagine tackling such a relationship...I simply lack the strength to do so. And God help any non-parent (and probably parent, lol) I dated who judged my own parenting style or skills...

I get that this is rather narrow-minded thinking of mine, but it's just my own view as a mom. Maybe dads feel differently?

So, to the OP...You are being wonderfully objective and clever about this. I hope it works because I am a hopeless romantic, but whatever you decide to do, I wish you strength and good luck. Hugs to you.