Hello (((JACQ))). I am sorry for your struggling at this time. Perhaps the reason you feel so isolated and lonely is because you feel that no one understands how you are really feeling emotionally and therefore you dont feel the need to express yourself on an emotional level with your therapist for fear of rejection or misunderstanding from your therapist. Misguided concepts and fear of rejection are two of the main reasons that cause a patient not to get the recovery treatment necessary to feel safe to express themselves. Journaling is a very good way to control the mistrusting issues that you are having emotionally at this time and the fear that you are experiencing toward expressing yourself in a sincere manner to your therapist or others that you fear will JUST NOT GET IT. Journaling helps to pinpoint exactly what IT is that you are fearful of and why the mistrust is there stopping you from expressing yourself. Also if you feel sincerely that you are not getting the correct therapy there is nothing wrong with getting a NEW therapist but I feel sincerely that NO Therapist can help you if you dont allow them in enough to help you with your emotional issues. I hope that you will take some time to reassess your situation and see if journaling will help you to express yourself more assertively in therapy. I am very glad that you are rethinking taking your ADs. It will help but they are not a cure all as you have found but it will take the edge off if taken regularly. I hope things get better for you soon Jacq. Take care. Soidhonia