So important what you said here. A bunch of what was so devastating for me falls outside the typical list of therapy woes. A big part of it was just the nature of the relationship independent of specific incidents. Forming dependency on a near stranger and then finding out she was not what she appeared, and was not "dependable" at all, was uniquely destructive.

I wonder also how many cases there are of unrequited love (in various forms) that are written off as mere transference, but that leave the client emotionally wrecked. The client is urged to see this as "normal" because it happens a lot in therapy, and perhaps they even tell themselves it's all about them and would not report it as problematic.

If the biz counts the the number of documented abuse cases, and then declares that to be an acceptable minority, seems to me that is so incomplete as to be meaningless.