I totally agree with you there, I don't want people to see what goes on in my head. Much less who I might become. My system is also afraid to let people know about them... From what I know there's only been one person in my life that has met them "all".... And I'm guessing that came only after gaining trust. Only to have me pull away in denial.. And end what was probably the best relationship in my life..

Fear is a very strong motivator, makes you do stupid things at times, and keeps you from getting better in so many respects. I keep trying to get this point across to the whole system..