Hi CeCe. Welcome to Psych Central. Sorry you have suffered through so much in life. It would seem at the least you might consider a therapist for yourself until you can sort all this out.

Is your therapist a man or a woman? Some people who have suffered abuse cannot come to trust a person that is the same gender as their abuser. I know that is a tough choice to change therapists, but if you could not reveal to a man for a year, then that shows how deeply the fears run.

There is also a free service here with volunteer therapists that accept questions as their time allows. Ask them also Ask the Therapist

Many people here at PC find they can share these feelings and what they are going through with the confidence that people go through similar things and can empathize. So many forums are offered as well as Chatrooms (after you have 5 posts or comments on others posts).

You can also be an active member in other ways like supporting others in their questions, reading articles and posts http://forums.psychcentral.com that are applicable to your area of concern.

Please feel free to private message me or any of the Community Liaisons by left clicking on the name in blue to the left of their post) for questions or just to share.