I, for one, think it's not really okay to drive by a professional colleague's house several times a week for no reason other than to satisfy one's self. I don't think it's "okay" because I think people find their homes to be a private space and a personal space. I think that "driving by" is more like driving "in" toward that person, without that person knowing. It's kind of like a secret, in this way. Doing it over and over again will reinforce it, and perhaps it feels daring, addicting, like you somehow "know" something T doesn't, powerful, etc.

I think you're hoping that someone will tell you plainly: no, it's not okay, stop.

But that you also will argue with whomever says that. "But, it's innocent, really"

If you have to ask, you probably already know.

I think YOU are still okay, and I think you mean no harm.

But, really. You know.

Stop it.


Should you tell T?

If you're prepared to stop and to also deal with the fact that she/he may very well find it kind of invasive (and that they may feel distinctly uncomfortable) as though you've been "spying" - even though you haven't. It's as though you've raised your hand to show that you COULD if you wanted to. Like you're asking for someone to please stop you from doing what you want.

"Wrong" / "right" - whatever. You know something about it makes you worry, otherwise you wouldn't ask the forum.

Your T may or may not have a reaction. How would it feel if she just said "I couldn't care less what you do, where ever you drive, it's not that important to me. Just don't cross the line into stalking."

Would you then feel tempted to see where that line was?


Test away, but it so clearly appears to be a test.