Thank you. I've been told I have an attachment disorder or an attachment trauma. I'm not sure if they are the same thing. I don't know how it happened because I have a wonderfully supportive and loving family.

Do you think it is possible then that I dissociate and self harm? I have been having such problems explaining to people I don't feel I have a choice sometimes - that it simply happens, or that I am not me enough to stop it or want to stop it. But I get the huge feeling that they don't believe me and feel I can and should do more. It is really upsetting me because I don't want this to happen anymore. I want to move forward in my life away from it - it has been such a long time dealing with this.

I am trying hard to find healthier ways to cope. In some ways I have improved over the years but I admit I get quite tired of always coping through it, but perhaps that is simply life and I need to accept it.

I think I'm feeling sad a lot. I'm not sure if it is dysthymia or an emptiness or what. I'm pretty tired of continually having to go to therapy. I want someone to understand because I feel I'm going crazy having to try and explain the seemingly unexplainable.