I haven't been here in a while. I have been having a lot of trouble in my head. I need help. Today I was doing some work around the house and became very angry at my body for not being fit enough to do it. I was very angry. I yelled and hit myself for being a failure. We eventually got the thing done but I hit myself. I promised the body that I wouldn't do that but I did. As I am writing this I am blaming myself for being weak. And that creates more anger. Something is going on in my head that isn't good. Maybe it is from isolation I don't know. I don't think this is who I am but I do know it is a part of me. Very very angry for saying that. I think of things like smashing and breaking stuff. Just destroying the house. I just want to smash something until I am too exhausted to move. I don't know how to release the anger or even what I am feeling angry about. Sometime I am filled with rage and it is all of me. I think I need a dr to help me. I don't know what else to do