What I've read is that we'll be attracted to people who feel familiar to us. I finally recognised this about myself a couple of years ago when a friend let me down and I started to wonder about our relationship. I realised my friend was quite similar to my dad - very distant, almost cold, uncaring. I started to think what the hell have I been doing with someone like that in the first place!

I'm learning to make better choices when it comes to the kind of people I want to have in my life.

My mum's dad was a violent alcoholic, and my mum married my dad who is scary and dangerous in different ways. I suspect my mum doesn't even realise this, maybe because she learned as a child that her fear doesn't matter. It's heartbreaking.