Mine started to go and be less intrusive the more I let them in and offloaded them on my therapist.
I started off trying to fight them, literally fighting with myself daily to 'be normal' my job needs me to be normal, my kid needs me to be normal, my friends need me to be normal, I need me to be normal.....That was when they ramped up the most and the fighting was the worst. I felt as though I was two people in one body.
By normal I mean, holding my **** together and being there for others.
Not letting the inner crap escape onto others or cause external issue.
I was an internal wreck.
The therapist gave me a place to dump, I am still dumping flashbacks there and talking through them and what they mean and what those experiences did to me at the time. None of this is neat and tidy. (Lots of snot and tears)
I have got so that I can do this now when I get one outside therapy. Instead of fighting it now I examine it for legitimacy, is there a real threat? Am I OK or in real danger? OK nope on both, then it becomes, Why am I remembering this now, can I put it on hold until later or do I need a five minute time out to explore this a bit more and make myself OK with this memory and physical reaction.
I am getting better at grabbing a flashback and working with it, less inclined to stuff it back in its box and soldier on until beer time after work.
I was self medicating the daily fight with flashbacks after work with beer.
Not a great choice but it got me through until I plucked up the courage to go to a therapist.
I was very scared to go to a therapist because some of my trauma was from being sexually abused by social services as a child. I made the step, but boy did it take a big tantrum and a big intervention from my younger brother to get me there.
My younger brother was not abused by social workers, it was our family of origin only for him so he hit therapy way before me. I was his care giver for years, holding it all in, being 'normal' playing 'mom'
Now he has returned the favour by being the only person brave enough to intervene on Ms '**** together or die' and insist I need to offload the held in trauma.
I'm in therapy thanks to him and yes the flashbacks are way less but also way less awful when they do surface.
I couldn't see beyond the fight. I now see the value of examination and talking about it with a professional in offloading toxic stuff.