Hi I was thinking about how the military and trauma experienced within the military might affect people who had trauma BEFORE the military.

I know from my peers who were in care for home abuse that the military offered a family and a rebuilding process to offset the trauma.

Clean clothes, regular meals, family better than blood family, routine, consistency, reward for hard effort, travel, a future, a sense of belonging, responsibility recognized....it all works to offset the trauma first experienced this new family right until the point where.

The family is sent in to live or die together and some die, in front of their new and most loved brothers and sisters.

This happened to my Dad. He is 72 now and was an undiagnosed alcoholic monster for many years after he saw terrible action in the Aiden.

I am carrying a lot of that trauma as well as my own but I can't help wondering what the cumulative effect is when someone escapes family based trauma into armed service and finds brotherhood and safety only to lose it via the death and uncertainty of combat.

The armed service is traditionally a safe home from a bad home for many young men and women. I wonder how many of these men and women hit a double whammy when that safety is pulled due to combat and all the certainty and safety in the service is gone in an instant of bloodshed and comrade loss.

I wonder if this what finished my Dad off mentally. I wonder how many others are finished off by having the safe place destroyed and all the trauma of home running back into the now after a bad combat stint where people and safety were lost.

I think complex PTSD is cumulative in that we bounce back from some trauma with hope and we re build to a degree based on new senses of stability and safety and worth. I wonder if cumulative trauma is what happens when that second chance at trust in life is thoroughly smashed to bits.

I often wonder how it feels to find safety in the armed services only to have that sense of safety crushed by combat trauma. Can't be good and it makes me think of the so called safe relationships that I had after my trauma of beatings and sexual attacks only to discover that safe place was not safe after all and having hands around your throat from the person who told you they understood and all would be well is enough to tip any trauma survivor back into the drink.

Just thinking with love for all those who escaped trauma into service and found new trauma amongst new brothers and sisters. With love x