</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Do you ever share unrealistic "I wish..." statements with your T?

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Sunrise,
Yes, T and I both do this, and refer to it as "fantasy." For example I may say "I have this fantasy that....." and he may do the same. I get a lot out of this kind of exchange, I think because it sort of makes me once removed from the subject and therefore, from any perceived criticism that may follow. Sometimes the follow up is not exactly criticism but more information that sort of makes your fantasy un-doable. Does this make sense to you?

I love how your T responds now but I'm not sure you former T was necessarily criticizing just misdirected in her coments. Maybe she was trying to get you to take some action on your own behalf with respect to the divorce. She should have given you validation first! I think of it like my T helping me to accept my son's illness. Unfortunately, her delivery was dreadful. Clearly your current T is a better match for you. (Especially if she's now into acupuncture.)

I do think it's important for us to remember that T's are human and that it is impossible for them to ALWAYS say what we want them to; of course, I am the first to let him know when he doesn't.

I also think that the "In the moment" aspect of therapy is the most enlivenng and responsive and has the most potential for a deep connection. When our T's are really with us "in the moment" then they will be able to respond to us appropriately and it will feel so connected.



2 weeks, 1 day till my next appointment with T.
1 week, 4 days till I can call him