Hi Annon,

Firstly, I'd like to say that I think you are very courageous to have posted as honestly as you have here. I'm guessing it won't have been easy...

I think it is to your credit that you have challenged yourself so thoroughly over this behaviour but agree there may be some issues here that you may benefit from exploring in a supportive (therapeutic?) relationship. Given the circumstances you describe I can understand why you feel guilt and shame and think it brave of you to have told your mother. However I find myself feeling a little in agreement with Pfrog! in relation to this being kept secret from your sister. I'm inclined to feel she has a right to know, but think that must be balanced with what would actually be the point of you disclosing? Who would benefit from this?

Your story resonates greatly with me as I was molested by my older brother from age 10-12, him being nearly 4 years older. He was quite deliberate in targeting me, getting me alone and creating an atmosphere of secrecy and shame (mine). I have a better relationship with my brother today as I know he feels remorse for how he treated me (it was some physical and emotional abuse as well) when we are growing up. I wonder how your sister would feel if she knew what had happened and how much remorse you feel and why you were unable to continue taking advantage of her while she slept...?

I wish you well on your journey through this rough terrain...

Phx