My therapist and I have talked about this issue a lot. I'm of the mind that sitting in silence and frustration because don't have anything to say or because it's just not ready to be spoken about yet is silly and a waste of time. I'd rather cancel ahead of time and allow my therapist to fill my slot with someone who needs the time. She's a pretty busy therapist so she doesn't have an issue with empty slots and lost income.
My therapist has let me know that she'd prefer that I come, even during those times that I feel stuck or wrapped so tight that I feel as though I might break into pieces if I tried to talk about anything. She feels that those are the times that I most need to come . . . .or at least she USED to believe that. After a few times of seeing my frustration, irritation and self criticizing rant because I can't produce, she has agree with my plan--cancel when I need to step back and regroup and come in when I'm ready to spill the beans and work productively. I like that she recognizes that my need to cancel wasn't a manipulation or a dodge--it was a need to sort things out in my head, regroup and then re-engage. I've cancelled for as short as one week and as long as three and half months. It varies.
I think you do what you need to do to make the process work most productively for you!
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