****. ****. ****. Nonononono. I think I have borderline personality disorder. This girl brought it out of me. I spent the past years making everyone disposable to me after being heartbroken but she somehow slipped through the cracks. I really liked her and she seemed to really like me but she sucks at texting back and I have object permanence issues when it comes to love. It's been less than a week of talking to her- she hasn't responded back to me in 2 days and I've gone off the deep end. I'm physically shaking and my anxiety's all come back. My thoughts are a non stop train of "please don't leave me, please don't leave me, please don't leave me." This is not normal. **** I'm a wreck right now. And I'm so mad because I was doing so well. I was on the path of stopping my antidepressants. I've finally beat my two disorders and now this new one gets uncovered?? Why did this happen to me? Why did I let myself feel? I hate myself so much right now. I just need my therapist so bad but I don't see him till Friday. I've literally regressed to the emotional state of an infant. Why is this happening to me. Why am I like this??? I need to cut this girl off and go back to being cold and numb like I was before. I knew that if I had let myself feel, I'd drown. **** but I genuinely liked her so much and we were so good together. I don't know what to do. I'm just an anxious rambling mess.