Quote:
Originally Posted by darlingbaby
...I am happy for her if she remains to be single. I just want her to be happy with herself if that is the choice she makes. I know other women who remained to be single and are happy. They have no qualms about having a partner. But they are absolutely sure about themselves of not being in any long term relationship.
I just want her to be absolutely sure if she wants to go this way. Not have any regrets...
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Absolutely sure? No regrets? NO ONE has such guarentees.
What is with all the "if if if"? Variations on "If that is the choice she makes..."" ...if she wants to go that way" etc.? This IS the path she IS taking. Stop making like she hasn't quite decided yet. She has. What does this continuing to question this show? That she hasn't made the choice
you want her to make.
Respect her choice. In not
truly doing so, saying you're happy for her is actually kind of patronizing.
It's more than a question of someone's choosing to be single or not. It's about respecting the autonomy of an adult who is not causing harm to make decisions about their life. FFS, she's 40 years old! If she can't make her own decisions now, when
will she be qualified to do so? It doesn't matter how carefully you tread. Even if you kept it 100% to yourself, your thinking is a dead giveaway that deep down you really
do think you know what's better for her than she does.
Something I find rather puzzling is the idea that this seems to be seen as some sort of irrevocable decision. Or that a decision even needs to be made at all. But whatever. This is what she wants. Let it go.
I don't mean to be harsh or anything. I do think you mean well. It's just misguided.