I honestly think part of the problem is the overuse/focus on "boundaries" in therapy makes it seem awkward and unnatural and that's part of why it's hard.

My current one has only ever used the word that one time ( above, when we talked about my ex-T) and I like it like that. She definitely has stronger boundaries but she doesn't make a big deal about them, although I guess she would if I actedi inappropriately, but I don't.

Though current one and pdoc kind of set me the strictest boundary I've ever had in therapy (your cutting has gotten too dangerous and if you do it even one more time we're going to have to... To protect you). But I did feel like it was a natural consequence to my risky behaviour and as upset as I was it didn't feel clunky or artificial.

I also think it's so harmful to say something like "I don't care if you email me every day," and then get told it's too much if you email 3 times in one week. I think they need to remember what they say to clients or it can get really really harmful.