This is what happened to me ^. I was pretty self-sufficient and tough. Wasn't rejection sensitive, wasn't needy, did not have attachment or abandonment issues. Had life stability, overcame a lot of diversity, and had a history of some generally good relationships and accomplishments.

New to therapy, the dependency feelings were brought out in by the relationship with the therapist within a month. The therapist was very aggressive. I had used dissociation during much of my childhood, so after interacting with this therapist, I was flooded all at once with somatic/pre-verbal and also later memories and had a breakdown. The dependency and attachment feelings came out as flashbacks. For example, I had very strong stomach pangs as longing feelings for this person who was basically a total stranger to me 2 weeks prior. It's as if I was possessed by something when I picked up the phone and called him when I had the longings (later realized these somatic type of memories are not uncommon with dissociation which starts pre-verbal) This was not something I could choose!

When feelings don't match the situation, they can sometimes be thought of or evaluated as a PTSD reaction. I developed full-blown PTSD. Since then, I've spent years and thousands on therapy trying to be stable and productive and content again. I struggle every day of my life. I turned into a mess and have never really bounced back yet. I am trying though. Lucky for me, I have a good therapist who I feel mostly safe with. Even with that, I still fear the ending will be traumatic for me and suffer with abandonment fears on a weekly basis.

The younger the trauma, the more the defenses are woven into your self and cognition. It can be really dangerous for a therapist without competence to provoke the collapse of these defenses. What happened to me was really dangerous. This is not the same as managing feelings within the realm of natural relationships. These are flashbacks, dissociated content, PTSD, whatever you call it. It never was a choice.

Who in the world would have choosen to experience what I just described? I also feel like I don't have much choice but to work through all this now. My other choice is not to work through it and try to get better through different means. Not really feeling empowered as my choices would have been much different had the therapist let me decide when to process these memories rather than forcing them out.