I'm always striving to be positive and optimistic; I'm good at doing it for others; but, not for myself. I'm sure some of you can relate no doubt. My dilemna is this: I have some assistance programs; like, I get SSI every month but not SSDI because I have never worked enough in the system I guess. I live in Maine... I get MaineCare the low income, disability type insurance so I just have copays mainly. I get assistance through the state as food stamps, Heap(which is fuel assistance), I've been trying to look for a part time job which would take away some of my ssi but the idea was hopefully it'd be worth it; but, haven't had any luck yet and I've been working with Voccational Rehabilitation services through the state a little here and there but they aren't always available when I need them and there help is few and far between and scheduling is sometimes difficult. I understand it is that they have heavy caseloads and what not and are spread pretty thin. But I'm still trying to figure out how I'm going to pay for bills without losing anything by shutoffs. I made payments on what I could based on what I could afford and I thought was a priority. I don't live in subsidized housing because in short it is in the dumpy parts of town where it just isn't safe for the ones that are available. I also have a small dog and a cat which I love dearly and just couldn't live without because they are really my world. I'm trying not to cry here..... but I'm just really not knowing what to do... I'm behind on bills mostly my water, and electric. I think that's it. My check goes fast and I'm lucky I get food stamps to pay for food; I don't know what I'd do with out it really. My mom said I could live with her and pay a small portion; but, that is really not an option basically because I'm 23 and it would contribute to my illnesses is what one of the pdocs said at one of my last hospitalizations; that living there with my mom was causing some of my problems and if I ever wanted to get out of there I had to live with my dad until I could find housing or live in a homeless shelter. Of course I lived with my dad for a couple months, sleeping on the couch after everyone went to bed and that didn't work out the best either. I also feel bad because one of my best friends who I hardly ever see invited me to her bachelorette party and her wedding but I don't know how I'd swing it. It's making me really depressed that all this is going on. On top of it all my twin sister just got married; her husband went to serve in the marines and she's back living with my mom rent free plus she paid pretty much everything for the wedding; and all my mom can do is be bitter and throw it in my face that we were worse off than my current situation when I was little and how I could live with her but I chose not to! That's enough for now my blood is starting to boil. I'll probly add more later. To get to the point: does anyone have any suggestions? Or anyway they could help me out somehow; advice or what not? I would greatly appreciate it and thanks for reading my ramblings.
So stressed, Danielle