You are on the right track, the fact that you recognize the problem means you can deal with it. you need to find a psychiatrist, a cognitive behavioral therapist, and some friends that understand your dilemma. There are surely many military children in Japan that you might find had a similar upbringing/difficulty adapting to the change of school. Also, and this is only my own personal opinion, Marijuana. Not for everyone of course and possibly due to legality could do more harm than good but when I felt like I was losing my soul to school and the pressures to perform I found MYSELF again, as well as the ability to accept others, when I began smoking pot. I also found that completing daily tasks, dealing with physical pain, motivation to do tedious work etc. was infinitely easier with the help of a moderate amount of the drug. See the psychiatrist first to make sure you don't suffer from a form of schizophrenia and good luck. that grind is INTENDED to crush your soul. you have to find it again. don't let others standards decide how you will live your life.