Quote:
Originally Posted by atisketatasket
I totally have as many boundaries with my students as therapists do with clients. Possibly more. I freely admit they're mostly there for me and my sanity, though it's barf-tastic how many colleagues of mine pretend they're there for the student: "It will enable you to learn best if you call me Professor Jones while I call you by your first name."
Perhaps we're defining boundaries differently, but I don't think therapists are unusual in the number of boundaries they set. Prison guards. Parole officers. Doctors. All of these professions set what I would call boundaries.
I do wish therapists would quit the malarkey about in whose interest the boundaries are, though.
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Every relationship has boundaries. I don't think most other professions make as big a deal of it though as therapy does. As in, my doctor does not tell me about his boundaries when I first go to see him about a boil on my toe. I know not to call my thesis advisor on a Saturday night because it's inappropriate and she would probably give me ***** for being inconsiderate, but wouldn't start any weird "boundary" talk.
I think a lot about my relationship with my pastor who has known me long and has daughters my age. We meet up a lot and it's kind of like counselling but there's no weird artificial boundary talk either. I wouldn't call her repeatedly because it's rude and inappropriate but she doesn't feel the need to tell me that, although I'm sure she would if the need arose. I don't want to cross any limits of what would make her uncomfortable because I care about her and I respect her and I don't want to make her uncomfortable. But I do rely on her and maybe even depend on her (in a healthy way) to be there to care and listen, but the boundaries are just kind of inherent in the relationship. We have a close, caring relationship and I do look up to her a lot, but I know she's my minister and not my best friend. We don't talk about them, they just exist.
I think the focus on boundaries in therapy does come from the assumption that a lot of people in therapy have issues with overstepping or with knowing what kind of behaviour is okay. And like SM said, it can be a bit infantilizing because ithe focus on boundaries does imply an assumption that the client has trouble understanding what is appropriate. It becomes a big formal issue in therapy that it just doesn't in other professional relationships where, yes there are natural inherent boundaries, but they are not discussed or made into a huge issue.