How would you suggest (anyone) Ts handle discussion of boundaries? Is that something that should be talked about in the "getting to know you" stage, or wait until the T gets a handle on who the client is, or just as boundary crossings pop up? Because of being on PC, I knew to ask my T about boundaries pretty early on. I knew hugs were ok, because she'd been giving them. I knew contact outside of session was ok, because she'd been allowing it, both ways. When I specifically asked about boundaries, she said the only one that comes to the top of her head is no gifts. But I only ever brought that up that one time.... and eventually, after working with her for almost a year, boundaries came out of everywhere.

All I ever wanted was consistency in therapy, because everything else is no inconsistent. I wanted to feel safe and know I could count on her to be as I knew her to be. Is that wrong? Well, during a month of many cancelations on her part, I was having a hard time. There was one day in particular, I really NEEDED my session, and I knew it ahead of time. It was my mom's birthday, and I was so glad to see I would have therapy on that day. It was one of the days she canceled. I was devastated.... (over half my sessions were canceled and/or rescheduled this particular month). I did briefly talk about how the absences were affecting me, although I felt selfish in bringing it up. She said that life is not predictable, it can be very inconsistent, and she basically said this is helpful for me to get used to it in the "real world." I wish I could remember exactly how she said, but that's the jist of it. That really bothered me. Other people talk about how therapy should be consistent. That it's helpful for the healing process. So, was my T wrong? Was I wrong to ask for consistency in therapy? I really was being horribly selfish in being affected by so many cancelations.... and I was later told by her that the times she didn't cancel, she canceled everyone BUT me, because she felt I needed my sessions. That made me feel pathetic.