I chose to be selfish immature at some things because I never felt I wanted or was meant for adult hood. I couldn't let it go. I act civil and be adult in some areas but accepting reality is not my style. I'm too driven even if it brought me great harm I don't get down because I'm happy I made a choice than none.

My child self was selfless and caring and hurt a lot and scared and wanted to be everyone's best friend even when they didn't want me because I miss them even if they didn't miss me I grew always believing everyone needed love to know someone was there for them. I choose not to take certain responsibility because I am aware I'm not prepared nor I can handle it as in I don't want to push my negativity around when I put too much on my plate. That's I take mindfulness.