Sometimes life is really stressful and everything seems to go bad and then it is really hard to find a positive note on this mess. I completely understand you, I had two years when everything snowballed into depression and I lost a lot of friends and family, two partners and I fell behind with studies and work. For me it helped to think that I have hit a low point but this had nothing to do with me inherently, that it was just circumstances and that it would pass. There was something cathartic with hitting the floor, so I could only go upwards from there. And baby steps is the key. Confidence and a good attitude is something learnt and it takes a lot of patience and a lot of failures. Everytime I get this despair feelings I think of my grandparents who lived through three wars and they were the most positive people I met.