I think your mistake was in saying that you would come by and leave presents at the bottom of steps. Those presents could have stayed right under your tree, or wherever, in your house, until such time as you all were going to get together for a cordial visit.

I think you and your son are both being provocative with each other. As the father, you need to role model a more low key manner. You are not "supposed" to "jump" to suit him. When he has an expectation like that, you can disappoint him. But just say no when you don't wish to accomodate him. No need for hostility. Just say, "Sorry, I have to say no because that just doesn't work for us (your wife and you.)

You going over to leave presents at bottom of steps was unnecessarily setting the stage for drama. It sounds like you both do it.

Calling your grandaughters every night before bedtime is excessive. Just don't comply with silly requests. Call now and then when you wish to call.