I'm sorry for your issues because I've an obsessive mind too, at times. When I can't get something out of my head, I generally find something else to replace it with, something that doesn't cause as much anxiety.

I've learned to listen to logic and reasoning... If it fails the "real" test, accept and move on and find something useful to focus on turning my obsession into a gift. I've spent too much energy in the past obsessing on fantasy that I've decided to try and use it for benefit.

I don't know if you can do the same, but I hope that you can....it wearies the brain to be locked on to thoughts that you know are untrue and yet can't do anything about them to get rid of them.

Dreams are dreams. What makes a vivid dream so real is that it's more of an experience then just a dream....like dreaming in 4D!qq. The brain is so emotionally entwined that it seems beyond real.....it's better than an iMax 3D movie!

Also, it seems like you have a guilty conscious that just won't give you a break, been there done that! Just need to say yeah yeah yeah and move on!

Good luck