Quote:
Originally Posted by AlwaysChanging2
I'm sorry for your issues because I've an obsessive mind too, at times. When I can't get something out of my head, I generally find something else to replace it with, something that doesn't cause as much anxiety.
I've learned to listen to logic and reasoning... If it fails the "real" test, accept and move on and find something useful to focus on turning my obsession into a gift. I've spent too much energy in the past obsessing on fantasy that I've decided to try and use it for benefit.
I don't know if you can do the same, but I hope that you can....it wearies the brain to be locked on to thoughts that you know are untrue and yet can't do anything about them to get rid of them.
Dreams are dreams. What makes a vivid dream so real is that it's more of an experience then just a dream....like dreaming in 4D!qq. The brain is so emotionally entwined that it seems beyond real.....it's better than an iMax 3D movie!
Also, it seems like you have a guilty conscious that just won't give you a break, been there done that! Just need to say yeah yeah yeah and move on!
Good luck  |
I know how to do reality testing and I've tried to check this memory for anything that would be indicative of it being a dream vs a real event and I can't find anything. And if it wasn't real at all, why was that name in my search history? What if it actually happened and I was so triggered when I saw it that I blocked it out of my memory for awhile? It's a long shot but not impossible.
I would be 100% content in calling it a really vivid dream if it weren't for two things:
1) I feel like it makes me crazy, essentially delusional, for thinking this whole thing was true if it was actually just a dream
2) the unexplainable name in the search history
Other than that, I can easily say it was a dream. I just feel like I should know the difference, you know?
I feel like what happened to me is beyond the scope of OCD and anxiety and occasional depersonalization episodes. I'm so worried this makes me psychotic!
Thank you for all your responses though, you really have no idea how much talking this out on here helps!!