Quote:
Originally Posted by 1stepatatime
Hey Monalissa
I'm really sorry that you're hurting. I think I can imagine how it must feel, I'd miss my T as well...despite the things that anger me about her.
I'm wondering if a part of you missing your old T is due to your uncertainty about new T. They seem to be very different, not that one is wrong the other is right but just really different. Could it be that new Ts style is so unfamiliar to you, causing you to question the therapeutic relationship that you have with her? Did you miss old T before beginning work with new T? I'm just pondering how I would feel if in your shoes... I would say allow yourself to miss old T and talk to new T about your uncertainty...see if there is any relationship to missing old T. And remember, if you continue to miss old T then maybe reach out if the longing doesn't get better[emoji4][emoji4][emoji4]
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Thanks for the great advice 1step
I think you are right about why I am missing old t. Part of it is because of uncertainty and unfamiliarity about my relationship with new t. Perhaps it's a bit too much for someone like me who needs routine and certainty. I guess I always knew that old t would be there for me in a crisis. She encouraged me to count on her for extra support. First thing new t said was when I expressed my fear of only seeing her once a month was " Mona, you can manage without a t, you are not going to fall apart" but I do fall apart and old t knew this and always fitted me in when needed and schrduled extra support during holidays.
I don't feel comfortable talking about ex t with new t because they know a lot of the same people. New t was very interested in my feelings towards her and it scared me.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Out There
I'm also sorry that you're hurting - Christmas can be difficult for bringing up feelings of what we've lost or never had and can amplify things. It seems you're stuck between a rock and a hard place , but options seem to be available for both T's?. T1 sounds consistent , T2 doesn't seem consistent and is perhaps moving a little fast. I'm looking at your own words here - confusion , doubts fears , that's difficult and bewildering.   |
Thank you Out There, I guess when you repeat my exact words it gives me more clarity. They are not words you would usually use when describing therapy. I guess I just needed someone to point this out somehow. Thank you
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brown Owl
I always miss my ex-T when I'm on a break from my new T. I figure that the loss I feel at the break from new T kind of triggers the loss of ex-T. Your T2 sounds quite unusual (that's a polite British way of describing her), I don't think you should blame yourself if you decide she is not for you.
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Hi Brown owl,
Thank you for being polite, we Irish would use a similar type saying to describe her lol!
I guess Christmas is a hard time for me and it's usually when I realise all that I have lost, I would know with ex t that she would be there to support me after the break but I am not sure of new t. I woke up after a night of really awful nightmares and for a moment I couldn't wait to work on these dreams with ex t and then I remembered that I can't, so I have been left with a huge sadness all day.
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