I just want the 'old me' back. I realize she's probably gone forever. But I wish it weren't so. She'd know what to do to make things better for now.

I hate this other me, the me I am now. I'm not comfortable with being her. And since the old me is dead, there is no other choice but to stay here, or make a new me entirely, which I am too depressed to do.

Been feeling weirdly out of it all day, sort of in a dissociative fog. not sure if it's really dissociation or the pills I took last night that made me cloudy.

I just want to be me again. The real me. Just like everyone else that left, I took her for granted. and now she's gone.

I've lost my sense of self. I have no direction or purpose.