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Originally Posted by PinkFlamingo99
PS. I miss mine too. But I know she was unhealthy for me so I have to be strong. I wrote a list of reasons why she was bad/ways she hurt me/painful things she said, and I keep it on my phone and read it everytime I get the urge to contact her. Maybe you could try something like that? I actually got the idea from the "acting opposite" DBT handout. It was about "acting opposite" for undeserved love, but I think it works too for just questionable yearning in general. At least it will help you see where you are. If you can't come up with a lot of reasons not to contact her, maybe you could give her another chance.
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That's a great idea thank you
I am glad it worked for you pink flamingo, logically I know there are reasons why I left her, valid reasons but also I miss her, I miss being listened to and understood by her.
I think keeping a list on my phone could work well for me. I had to stop myself from contacting an ex by telling myself she was no good for me, it took a long time but eventually worked.
Quote:
Originally Posted by musinglizzy
I'm sorry you're hurting. I know if/when I leave my current T I will still miss her terribly. I can't even imagine....
People saying both T's are a bit strange or bizarre has me confused... I guess I must have missed those posts where you described your T's. But.... just stay vigilant, and know you need to do what's best for YOU... and if new T isn't a good fit, try to keep your options open. I'm doing that very thing right now. Even though I am currently seeing two T's, I'm doing my research in case the new T isn't working out for me. I want a back up plan.
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That's a sensible idea to have a back up plan and it's also good self care. My ex t was very bizarre in many ways, at first I loved that about her too( just like new t) but after a while her unconventional ways really bothered me. They also hurt me, which was a small price to pay for an excellent therapist but something wasn't working anymore.
Quote:
Originally Posted by PinkFlamingo99
Can I be honest? I don't want to hurt you or anything, but both of these T's seem a little off to me. Have you thought of trying a third one? Maybe someone a little less... Bizarre? I know you like her as a person, but maybe as a T you need more normalcy and stability. And a little kindness, understanding and warmth without so much weird stuff.
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Thank you
you didn't hurt me at all and I really appreciated your honesty. I haven't actually thought of a third t, I always limit myself and consider going back to ex t rather looking for a new one.
Because I am a t (in training) I suppose both ts have treated me differently and moved too quick, what they forget is that although I am a t in training, I am still a regular human with lots of problems, I am also hurt and in emotional pain. I don't need a friend or menthor, I need a good t!
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