I know how that is FallingTears... I do the same. Hopefully sharing advice with others helps even when we are aware that we are having difficulty with that same advice.

I'm really reluctant to go on drugs again, nothing worked well enough to overlook the unhappiness that the side effects were causing me. However I'm all for going back into therapy and seeing where that leads. I'll try to keep an open mind. I think my recent triggers are pretty concrete so maybe some therapy and coping skills will help me find ways to deal with them.

Thank you FallingTears