Hi Kamikazebaby

I once read that saying no is 'warrior work'... If sounds like your warrior is getting stronger in that you've been able to defend yourself against your mother's unreasonable request, but I can hear how difficult that is for you, so well done you And yes, never having own experiences, wants/needs Listened to, believed or responded to is incredibly invalidating. I was brought up the same way so can really relate to this.

I keep reading these threads and seeing more and more aspects of myself and my experience. I feel extremely bad for not doing something that someone else wants and will contort and distort myself desperately trying to meet other people's needs. So others have this intense response to others' needs as well??! Not being able to say no meant I had a lot of sexual encounters when I was younger that I didn't really want or consent to, but did not feel I had a right to deny others (men) what they wanted. I was also sexually abused as a child and still cannot accept that I did not have some responsibility for this as I was not able to say 'no' until a couple of years had passed and then they stopped. I feel as if I had said this sooner it would not have carried on for as long as it did.

I can come here and share these thoughts with people who really understand me and it is such a relief and release for me...