It must be so difficult not to know what's true and feel like people want to hurt you or don't have your best interest in mind. I wonder if instead of assuming the worst about your psychiatrist and psychologist, that they got into their professions to hurt people, you could consider the more probable scenario--that they are interested in helping people be well and being their best possible selves and that they take their ethical commitment to do harm very seriously, so they are trying helping you and are worthy of the benefit of the doubt, if not trust.