I admit to being a bit confused and perhaps your therapist was too. What you wrote to your therapist seemed to indicate that you were willing to come, although you were struggling with the urge to cancel, but you had some issues you'd rather not discuss at the moment. Your therapist responded to that email by indicating that she'd prefer that you come, but YOU were in charge of the agenda. It truly seems to me that she was open and accepting of your agenda or way of conducting your next session. To me that would be a positive thing. Communicating EXACTLY what you want to do is critical. As much as we'd like our therapists to read our minds (ie. in this case you really DIDN'T want to go and planned to cancel), our therapist can't know what we want or wish. Usually when people talk about an urge to cancel, they really want someone to convince, urge or talk them into coming. When we really and truly want to get out of something, we just cancel and then reschedule when we're ready. Have you really and truly considered that you wanted to be convinced to come, even though you didn't want to talk about certain issues? Just something to consider.