. . .I spent a lot time obsessing and reading about what “evil” might be a while back and came to the conclusion that it was the withdrawal or withholding of empathy by someone who was capable of it. With what I understand now about myself, when I get into a state that others may experience as evil, I lose the capacity for love and empathy that might characterize me another time. So to others I may seem evil, hurtful, harmful, abandoning, etc. and that may have been very scary for them but really I was just in a state where empathy and love weren’t present, couldn’t be made to be present. So, then, I wasn’t evil either, because it was not the deliberate withdrawal or withholding of empathy or love, it was just that I was so badly triggered that my survival functions took over and dissociated from my social ones.