Quote:
Originally Posted by AnxiousGirl
I also apologized to T about the confusion in my reply to the message.
Totally get where you're coming from. The thing is, 2 weeks ago I sort of sent a similar email saying that I wanted to cancel because I had a rough week and my T allowed me to cancel and come back the week after. So I figured maybe I can word this email the same and my T can say the same thing but this time it was different. Sorry for the confusion though! I'm as confused as everyone is too.
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The thing that I've learned, is that it is critical to state or write exactly what you want or need in the therapy situation. I get it that you thought that because you sent a similar email previously that she'd answer the same this time. But in reality, both times, you didn't want to go or talk. If you need time to regroup and think, then say so. If you're hesitant to go because you're scared, worried, upset or in a tizzy about what is going through your head, say that! Let her know that you're struggling. . . .that you're stuck. . . that you're not sure that you want to talk about anything . .. In other words, take control of your therapy!!! Let her know right out how you want her to respond.
If I don't want my therapist to ask about a particular topic, I let her know. I do realize that she might say to me, "Look, Jay, you're shutting me out and I can't help you that way. How are we going to deal with this?" If I am not able to meet her halfway, I get it that she can't do her job and I might need to move on. Or I can decide, hey, I can give her a list of what I want to talk about or I can give her a self blog about what I'm thinking about or I can ask her for an assignment about . . . . Guess what I'm saying is don't play footsie. Speak what and how you want therapy to proceed. I read here a lot about how unsatisfied and hurt people are about their therapy. I say GET PROACTIVE. Tell your therapist exactly what you want and need. Don't speak around it or whisper it in small ways. Be brave and open and totally directive. It is a good thing. I hope things go well at your next appointment.