i've done nothing but cry all day. her situation so complex---and in my gut i know i probly will never see her again. it's a feeling--but with her situation it is also reality. my T didn't understand and just spewed out the same old T talk trying to convince me taht I-it's not my fault, 2-i have no control, 3-hunches/gut feelings are usually wrong and that melissa will still be around in 6 months....she didn't listen to the PAIN and the HURT i feel right now. it's so deep and it feels so raw--no words. i don't remember the T session today. jsut little bits. it's bad--really bad