Hi, I didn't really have time to read the whole thing but this question matters to me. I'm in a confusing situation where my therapist seemed to encourage some dependence as part of the process to get to independence. But when I felt independent, even suggested starting to terminate, my therapist started acting really weird.

Now I'm confused but I think he is confused too or something. I am wondering if my feeling independent triggered in him a need to feel like I needed him so he acted all weird to make me feel dependent again. If that makes sense?

He seems to not be willing to let go while also acting cold. Very confusing. And very different from before. He has personal issues (family health) going on so maybe I'm getting it wrong.

Anyway, good question. I think in a lot of cases "dependence" is part of the process for people who need to learn to rely on someone and feel a sense of trust. Still therapists do feel like they are really important and have rescued someone so it seems likely that they would also not like having someone feel independent, even if that is the goal of therapy.

Go figure. Seems a Catch-22.