I feel that I need to email t to tell her what's going on. I've been doing a lot of deep thinking tonight, and I realized I have no purpose in life right now, besides taking care of my mental and physical health. I'm starting to feel lost without having a job, and at my last job I got fired in June and haven't worked since. I filed for disability and got denied, so i'm waiting to hear back from my appeal. I'm acting like I'm depressed, but I feel stable with my moods. I'm isolating a lot and all I do all day is sit around and cook a couple meals.

I want to email t and ask her if depression can be a learned habit and how can it be broken. I feel like I'm stuck in this cycle, and I need to break it. Maybe if I come up with a routine, it would help.