I'm sorry you're feeling so lousy. I remember your other posts about this T. Might there come a time when you decide that your therapy with this T is not helping you? I think a lot of clients make appointments with a new T and then cancel. You may not have actually burnt your bridges. I tried out a couple of Ts when I was still seeing my ex-T, but I found I couldn't make the switch to a new one until I'd finally quit the first one, only then could I contemplate seeing another, and make a decision about it.