I asked him what turns him on after you suggested it. He mentioned times of day, afternoons, where there are no kids at home. These times happening are rare because he hardly ever gets out of work that early. Also, I know the reason he feels so frisky then is really because he feels like he's getting away with something because he got away from work early. It has nothing to do with me, like I am a naughty treat.

So, interestingly, his turn ons are not at the times I think are my ideals of when to have sex.

Yes, I am not acting concerned about his needs on here. Mostly because I am writing and venting in anger and frustration. Also, this has been an ongoing issue for years and years and I have tried giving him everything I can think of, but he still never gives back to me. He's just not capable of thinking of me and acting on it... Empathy maybe?

Thank you for speaking up for my husband and playing the devil's advocate, looking at both sides of this.

No, I'm not completely self-centered, I'm just so frustrated. I don't know how to create a situation where we are both happy when he won't do his part.