I think you might enjoy the book I recommended to someone else http://www.amazon.com/Remarriage-Blu...parenting+book

Love takes time. Several of the stories shared in that book talk about how parents assume that because someone loves them that they should automatically love their child. But love does build from a foundation, for a parent that foundation is that you are their parent, for an outsider that foundation has to be a relationship that develops. I don't know that I'd say that I love my boyfriends kids but I also don't have much of a relationship with them. The 15 year old has been here since July and I do care for him very much, and I'm sure I will for the 11 year old too once everything settled down. I'm really glad he didn't expect me to love them immediately though.