Quote:
Originally Posted by ChipperMonkey
This is why parents should stick to dating other parents. Everyone grows up wanting to be special to someone, to have a REAL partner. Gonna always put the kids first? Be prepared to be rejected by a lot of childless singles. Yeah, what parents don't realize when they say the kids will always come first is that a single person hears "Well, if you were dying on the side of the road at the same time my kids wants an ice cream cone, sorry but you'll be on the losing end". Yep. Maybe that sounds extreme, but if you're going to use such extreme words (i.e. "always"), be prepared for the backlash. Yes, I know the rebuttal is going to be "I didn't mean THAT!" but you said it....don't blame me (and any other single person on the face of the planet) for using the dictionary definition of "always" and not attempting to mind read or decipher your own personal interpretation of the word.
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I definitely understand this. For me, that seemed to mean "If there's any sort of conflict, I will take the child's side, even if I know they are in the wrong." That's what happened the time the 11 year old poked me hard in the chest and acted really inappropriately. I had to know from him that I couldn't be "wrong" every time the child acts in a way that is not ok with me. He has been really good about beginning to set boundaries with her and my T recommended a book on a discipline technique (1, 2, 3 magic) for us to read together. I didn't know it, but what I needed for him to say/feel was that the kids coming first didn't mean me coming last. I'm cool with them coming first, as long as it's not at my expense, you know?