So I was reading something about AA & I saw the quote "irritable, restless & discontent" to describe the normal baseline state of being for an alcoholic or addict without their poison of choice. As I read it I felt like I could really identify with it. It sounds like exactly what I have been experiencing. I'm like a dry drunk, I've given up the substance (methamphetamine) but haven't changed my thought processes. I've been so proud that I could single handedly without professional help, rid myself of the pipe but I'm beginning to feel I'm only halfway there. All this agitation & depression feels exactly like the 12 steps describes the state of irritable, restless & discontent in recovery. Are my mixed episodes of agitated depression & dysphoric hypomania actually just another step in my recovery? I've decided I will reach out to the local substance abuse counselling service in my area to attempt to get some clarity on this. I would love some opinions.

I'm over this milquetoast existence.