Ty so much for the replies.

I'm deeply upset when I am rejected. I am currently in DBT and going to weekly counseling to deal with the bpd, bipolar, PTSD and gad. I want to not deal with this stuff anymore

I realize I fit a lot of bpd characteristics abd recently found out I was initially dxd at 18 and they never told me. I was re diagnosed in 2013...that was removed by my former pdoc then I've been dxd with bpd again this ye. So I guess after three times I need to accept it