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Old Jan 04, 2016, 06:30 PM
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velcro003 velcro003 is offline
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Member Since: Oct 2008
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ruh roh View Post
Did she say the word pretending? Or is that how it came across to you? Because what I think might be happening is that she's saying in an inartful way that she doesn't believe you really want to cut your son out of your life, or any of the things you've shared on pc in recent weeks, but that she thinks your pain is driving you to see these drastic measures as the only option. If that's what she's trying to communicate, she's probably using triggering words or language with you that make you feel disbelieved or discounted.

When a person gets triggered, they stop hearing what's being said in the moment and get thrown back into the past--which, from what you've shared, is judgmental and abusive towards anything you say or do.

The difficulty is in having the pain of the past acknowledged—because it's causing you to push your son away—and not having it mixed up with the present, which I'm guessing you want to have a better outcome? If you don't want the present to have a better outcome, then that's where your therapist also needs to hear you. I really don't think she's dismissing you or your reality, but you're right in saying that it would help if you could share more of your internal life with her.
I agree with everything ruh roh is saying, especially the bolded part, because I think that happens to you a lot Granite, which is sad to always walk around feeling so triggered and angry and traumatized and frightened! It sounds like Hell, and i hope you can work with her.

Hasn't she allowed you to write things to her in the past? What about showing more art journals? Something else other than talking, because right now that is a major stumbling block in your therapy. Has she ever discussed EMDR? I wonder if that would be helpful for you.