I love my child, but when I decided to pursue having a child I thought it was what I needed for stability, I thought having a child would somehow prevent my UPS ands downs and backs and forth. I will admit that my mental illnesses do matter I can no longer stand being with his mother as I basically used her to have a child, nor was I ever one to have a stable relationship it was always hot and cold and always on my terms. And a child is such a huge responsibility, 24/7 actually, they are needy and expensive it realm takes teamwork to raise a chip and everything affects them.