Quote:
Originally Posted by LittleEarthquakes
People, when I open up to them, push so hard for me to get a job or go to school or get a therapist so that I can magically fall into some kind of maybe positive routine and get better but I have what is supposed to be "the answer" in my hands and it's not working. Like when I did those things was I any better? Have you just run out of things to say to me. I feel people are stressed out with me; I know. I feel guilty.
It feels like my brain is rotting.
I laugh at other people for what they say to me sometimes. I'm disrespectful and acting self-indulgent and entitled and waiting for a person to save me or for a better mood. I feel disrespected and I'm letting resentment build because I'm stuck in my situation and can't crawl out and I hate that. It feels gross and mean and like sickness and I want it to disappear.
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Sometimes, in my mind, I am very upset at people, they really bother me. I know that my feelings are not fair, but my feelings are just there, like my suffering from depression is there. Sometimes, I do not fight against those feelings, I let them be, I name them, I say I am angry, I am upset, then I feel better.
I think it is good you are writing about your feelings here. Somehow, it is going to help you