I've been down today, and, of course, not because of practical things. Rather because of guilt -just before writing this I was wondering, once again, if I had any right to leave home. I'm going to start calling my flight a "fit of mental illness" and hopefully it will let me be less of a spoiled, lazy, hypersensitive brat like I fear it was.

I mean, not having privacy or time to think isn't bad. I don't deserve it, I should have just taken my punishment. The fact that having someone talking at me constantly sent me into so many rages is just me being a despicable, spoiled little spit, isn't it...I have no right to feel like I do. Or to distrust the affection I'm being offered now. I know what I feel, but the causes are nothing compared to what real abuse cases go through, I fear I'm the equivalent of the middle-class suburban kid who contemplates suicide when he doesn't get the latest smartphone... I can't take myself seriously and I don't expect anyone else to.